Where do I
start from? I guess from Easter morning.
I had gone
over to my friends place over the Good Friday weekend and she is a Christian.
That introduction should be enough. Right then diving into the story- so at 4am
Sunday morning, we marched to their church. The ambiance was set by
the wind, the trucks, the rising sun and the chirping cawing birds, as we
sang hymns and discussed breakfast plans.
Now the
ceremony was mostly a blur. But then father started talking about the
crucification of Christ. Jesus Christ had stones hurled at him, his followers forsake
him in fear, nails were driven through his hands and feet, a crown of thorns
was placed on his head and on his last breath he said 'forgive them father'.
That is so powerful. I mean can you imagine that strength that love. To
understand the contrast here is an example- at that moment I was making faces
at the kid who shoved me aside to light his candle first (he was making them
back too).
There is so
much stuff we hold onto, so many little petty things I still haven’t forgiven
people and even myself for. The Hindi teacher in school who threw away my
months hard work because it wasn't neat enough, the kids in my school
who judged and teased me for many stupid reasons (I don’t mean to sound
condescending they actually were stupid reason - she speaks in an
accent, doesn't wear the right clothes etc). The girl in my college
who said some nasty stuff about me and my family, myself for trying to fit in
too hard and for quoting from 'kyunki saas bhi kabh bahu thi' in a losing
argument (Oh God why?).
I obviously
haven’t experienced pain and betrayal like he did and god willing I won’t, but
that's the point; all these things are so small and I carry it like a huge
bundle over my shoulder. At that moment it just seemed beyond silly, even
ridiculous to me. So the only thing I prayed for was that strength of
forgiveness (moment of deepness).
Let me just
say it aint easy. Especially when pretentious and let’s say unenlightened (read
stupid) people try to shove their opinions at you every day. But one step at a time-
so right now Hindi mam it’s all cool..
ps- i don't want to hurt any religious sentiments and i don't know how accurately i quoted the sermon i may have forgotten some things so ahem ahem apply the title.
