Tuesday, 2 July 2013

To The Technologically Challenged

So much technology- the laptop,the palm top, the iphones, the smartphone, the television, the remote, the heater the air conditioner oh my god the list is so long. From the light switches and door latches to the satellites and airplanes. We are surrounded by machines.
Don’t get me wrong they make life way easier. Can you imagine going from India to I don’t know Egypt if there were no airplanes? Hi Mr. Pterodactyl mind if I hitch a ride just drop me off at the sphinx. Nope cant do it.

So while machines are great for any normal person for people like me (read clueless) they are just few more things out to get us.

The first and most basic one the door latch simple mechanism one would think, no for us its like performing a major heist of some superbly protected safe one wrong move and boom booboo on the thumb. The times my fingers have been slammed by car doors (shaking lips).

 Next the light switch, what could possibly go wrong you ask? Well you may think all you are doing is switching on the light or the fan but you may end up blowing the fuse of the entire house. How are you asking me how, I don’t know the god of machines hates us.

Now try plugging in the cell phone charger. how many people broke it (plug or charger) and how many people jammed the charger in the plug at a weird angle in someway you know it isn’t supposed to be. Welcome to the group my friends a consolatory hug and pappi for you all.

The laptop, the cell phone, the tv remote.  Why you not work for me but work for my father, sister, brother, mother  man why?  open  laptop it’s a blank screen,  switch on cell phone it has hanged itself,  pointing the remote at the tv and it refuses to change the channel especially during a condom ad when sitting with the entire family  (practice safe sex people).    

My room heater is possessed and my cooler doesn’t cool anything.  The cooler can be on the entire night the next morning I will wake up drenched in sweat.. I know you are working don’t you try that partiality shit with me. It’s a cold winter night you've just finished watching a scary movie, switch of the lights (not the bathroom light just seen a scary movie remember) get inside a blanket nice warm and safe and then suddenly you hear a sound like an electric chain saw sputtering. … … … OH MY GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!! WHERE ARE THE LIGHT SABERS??!! WHERE IS OUR PUSHTEINI TALWAR??!! EVERYONE WAKE UP!!! Wait wait it was just the heater. Now dodge the chappals, shake fists at optimus prime (you machine you) and get back in the blanket you poor muggle.

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