This aspect of social interaction is hard for me. My heart just starts to pound really loud when I have to tell someone I'm angry or upset. Putting aside the many phone calls that need to be made to Dr. Phil, this is actually about a specific incident.
So what happened is that recently someone shouted at me for something and I after giving myself 5 motivational speeches and introspecting endlessly pushed myself to go tell that person that I did not appreciate their behavior. Here are some observations on what happened :-
1. Whatever you planned to say, be certain it will not be what you end up saying. You think It will go from A to B in this logical sequence. What happens however is you go from A to T then D and then she/he says something in between and you think oh right “B C” *wink wink
2. The scenario you have imagined in your head will do a 180 degree flip in the real life situation For instance I imagined a real fight; curses flying back and forth, me giving comebacks like a boss and in the end the other person realizing their mistakes and saying sorry. What happened was that the female was ready to listen I explained my issues she explained hers we exchanged sorry and the end, goodnight. Stupid civility!
3. It’s disappointing, like really disappointing, in my case I dint like the attitude and I could have said something to something blah blah. It’s like in criminal minds the serial killer keeps killing cause it’s not perfect, the way he imagined it.. Horrifying analogy but drives home the point.
4. Most surprising thing is that it’s easy; you don't need Martin Luther king to write you a speech you don't even need a knockout punch like Mike Tyson to make your point. A simple I heard you out now your turn and next time say it nicely, totally works. . assuming they aren't douche-bags, if they are why are you bothering?
Side note: Its worth mentioning that during the introspection I realized one of the reasons I’m bad at confrontation is cause I care too much about other people’s opinions and I dint need to because well why, they judge me for their own reasons not because they want to know the truth or something but mostly because they want to validate themselves so why should I worry about that?
More power to the emotionally impaired :p
In conclusion congratulations to me for emerging victorious.